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Package Holiday

by Royal Box

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about

Four lager louts go on a disastrous Package Holiday.

lyrics

PACKAGE HOLIDAY

There was Porky and Del, Eggy and Tel
Discount holiday
Girls left at home, it stays on the road
Easyjet holiday
We were late to the gate, we'd sunk half our weight
In cheap Du Chateau Ole!
Del chucked on the plane

We booked two rooms, down by the lagoon
Package holiday
Del broke some toes playing cricket by the pool
Tropical holiday
He's hobbling round now, they ran out of crutches
All's he keeps saying is, 'Well catches win matches'
He's stuck in the sun, he can't get about
He's coated in blisters and we're laughing at him cos he's in pain
Oh no!

After too many beers we stole gift shop souvenirs
Help yourself holiday
Del got locked up, he called the cop a clown
Illegal holiday
Widescreen football, Arsenal and Leeds
Hot bacon butties - well, a man's got his needs
Porky got belted by a thug from Belize
After telling her she looked like a mini John Cleese
Oh dear!

Bored and depressed, we just kept on drinking
All-inclusive holiday
Stole from the buffet for mid-morning snacks
No refund holiday
Widescreen football, Tottenham and Leeds
Hot chip butties - well, a man's got his needs
Eggy got flattened by a thug from the East
After telling him he looked like ... Diane Wiest
Oh dear!

Took a tour downtown with a dodgy in a van
Risky holiday
He drove us round in circles, dumped us in a lane
Forgettable holiday
We chased him down but he clobbered us good
Let us in a mess, down in the 'hood
All the local lads, well they're gathering round now
Looking at Del and his toes and they're thinking
'Oh wow, we'll take the lame one first!'
'Yeah we'll cop ya later Del '

Went to some churches, nicked the money from the plate
Ecumenical holiday
Couldn't get to sleep, had God in me earhole
Guilty holiday
He's hobbling round now, they ran out of crutches
All's he keeps saying is, 'Well catches win matches'
He's stuck in the sun, he can't get about
He's smothered in blisters and we're laughing at him cos he's in pain
Oh dear!

Back on the plane, utterly defeated
I need an holiday
The girls are gonna say 'How was it?'
We're gonna say 'Brilliant holiday!'
We were late to the gate, we'd sunk half our weight
In cheap Du Chateau Ole!
Del heaved on the plane
He's stuck in the sun, he can't get about
He's smothered in welts and we're laughing at him cos he's in pain
Oh dear!

credits

released April 5, 2021
Written by Royal Box
Produced by Royal Box
Mixed by Desert Island Del & Tel Bennett
Mastered by Don Bartley / Benchmark Mastering
Vocals, guitars, synthesizers, loops by Royal Box

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about

Royal Box London, UK

Royal Box is the now sound - synthy, gritty, witty and not very pretty.
A fully global collective of musicians, singers, actors, newsreaders, journalists and one cake decorator, Royal Box is based out of London, Sydney, New York and Orange.
Wounds, hunger, darts, boat shoe types, workers getting screwed - nothing is off limits.
The first single is the geeza dancefloor sensation Package Holiday.
... more

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